Ask Amy- My Kid Loses Everything!

All kids lose stuff sometimes. Some kids lose stuff all the time. Sometimes it's ADHD or general inattention. Sometimes it's just a slower development of executive function. No matter what, it's frustrating (and expensive). What's a parent to do?

A member of our Facebook group asked: 

Any suggestions for the kid who loses everything? My son is 9. He lost three sweatshirts in the two months he was in in-person school, a tennis racquet at tennis camp, baseball glove at baseball practice, shin guards at soccer camp… and don’t even get me started on water bottles! 

The “lost and found” turned up one of the many things he has lost, but that is it. He swears each time that he put the things in his bag. Unless, there is a sweaty shin guard thief, this obviously is untrue. 

We’ve tried charts and check lists. We’ve tried making him earn the replacement items, but nothing seems to stop the constant misplacing of items. HELP!

For the truly forgetful kids, the oft-cited "natural consequences"– if he doesn't have his shin guards, he won't be able to play, and he'll sure remember next time!– rarely work. Your child will feel chagrined, but be just as likely to forget the next time.

In this episode Amy suggests what has worked in her household, like

• making reminders unmissable (put the reminder ON the doorknob, not hanging above it)
• labeling everything that costs more than the label would (Amy uses oliverslabels.com)
• use list-making apps and model using them yourself (Amy uses Workflowy)

and check out Carolyn Dalgliesh's ideas for helping forgetful kids get organized: http://www.carolyndalgliesh.com/

Kids do well if they can. Don’t give up on the checklists and the reminders if they don’t work right away. Keep your support system consistent– and non-shaming– and eventually your child will check for those shin guards before he leaves the field. 

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