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Sept. 4, 2023

Ask Margaret: Should I Quit the School's Group Chat?

How do we avoid being dragged into the Negative Nancy talk in parent chat groups? Margaret answers a question from a listener who is getting stressed out by her nursery school's group chat.

"I am part of a WhatsApp chat with other parents in my child's nursery. It's not set up by the nursery, nor does it seem to have all of the parents in it. The problem is it's very unpleasant and dominated by a small minority of very vocal complainers. It's causing me some anxiety and some distrust of the nursery which objectively seems unwarranted. What can I do?"

Group chats are a double-edged sword. Some are amazing, like the What Fresh Hell Facebook group, and some are anxiety-causing and more trouble than they're worth.

It's not your job to convince the other parents that they're being too negative - it IS your job to opt out for your own sanity and mental health, though. And it's perfectly fine to do so.

You can quit completely or just mute notifications and go in to ask a genuine question every once in a awhile. It can occasionally be useful to know when certain events are happening or if there is an early dismissal, for example.

Ultimately, engage with the conversations that are useful, and excuse yourself from the unhelpful negativity and complaining - you'll thank yourself later!

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