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March 6, 2024

Two Things Can Be True

When we are in a disagreement, it feels like only one person can be in the right (and it's definitely you). But two things can be true. Here's how understanding that can change your partnership and your parenting.

In a disagreement two things can feel like opposites—but it can still be a fact that both things are true.

You wish they'd listen; they wish you'd not get so angry.

Your kid isn't going to that unsupervised sleepover; your kid is going to be furious about that for weeks.

When we start allowing for coexisting differences of opinion—when we stop feeling like the other person can only be super-wrong before we get what we want—something like change can start to occur. The idea that two things can be true dates back to the ancient Greeks, and in this episode, we discuss

  • the history of dialectical thinking
  • why our lizard brains love to overcategorize
  • how we can use the "two things can be true" script in our parenting


We're still figuring out how this works for ourselves, but the effort seems well worth it.


Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:


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